The Next Big Hit

Woohoo, I have new Netflix dvds to watch this weekend! I can never remember what I've rented, so tearing open those little red envelopes is always a big surprise. I wonder what my postman would think if he knew he stuffed Children of the Corn and Anne of Green Gables in the same mailbox yesterday.

Actually, it might be more interesting to know how the Children and Anne would feel if they knew they were hanging out in the same mailbox together. I imagine they'd probably get along fine at the outset. What with Anne being just a kid herself, she'd fit right in with the other Children for awhile. They'd all hang out at Green Gables wearing their Amish-style clothes and working the farm, planting some corn and watching it grow. Eventually though, the Children would fuck things up. One of them (probably Malachai) would kill off Anne's adoptive parents with an axe causing Anne, always the red-headed spitfire, to seek her own revenge. She'd need the help of some serious muscle to go up against The Children though and unfortunately, all of Anne's friends are total lightweights. I mean come on, even her male chums wear knee breeches.

Thankfully, the final season of the Sopranos was also in the mailbox so I'm thinking Anne could always sell the farm and use the proceeds to hire a hitman or two. I'm sure Tony, Paulie and the rest of the crew would be happy to kick some Amish adolescent ass, especially once they realized that the Children were all about killing off every adult in Avonlea. Yeah, Tony was always a pretty serious disciplinarian so I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be letting any of those Children get away with bloody murder.

Wow. Tony Soprano, Don of Green Gables. I fuckin' love Netflix.