Facebook Can Suck It

I hate Facebook. Not because people are constantly peeing on my Wall or sending me fake potted plants to stop global warming. Though seriously people, that shit needs to stop. No, I’m pissed because Facebook infected my computer with Koobface and then caused me to jolt awake at 3am in a cold sweat because my subconscious had just figured out that Koobface is Facebook backwards …or ½ backwards and ½ forwards. See? That just goes to show you how much this virus has fucked with me - I can’t even DESCRIBE it properly.

Anyway, it happened on Monday and now I know how all you Monday-haters feel. I had piles of shit to do and I just wanted to go outside and play but instead I spent half the day staring at an epileptic computer screen while Koobface and his friends, Trojan and Monder, frolicked in my hardrive. No euphemism intended. Oh yes, did I mention that my computer was infected with THREE viruses simultaneously? Well, technically two viruses and a worm. Imagine how you would feel if you contracted cholera AND ebola and then had a little dose of tapeworm on the side. Not so fresh, eh?

And here’s the irony - my computer only became symptomatic when I started searching the web for candida related websites. That’s right, research yeast infections and you’re liable to get Koobface. I was doing this for a client by the way, not for me. Oh sure, like the truth is actually going to convince you, Internet.

Anyway, the good news is that Koobface and Trojan (the two things responsible for ruining most one-night stands, by the way) have been exterminated by my fancy new virus killing software designed and installed by geek geniuses who ROCK. (Thank you geek geniuses!) Unfortunately, Monder got all pouty when his friends deserted him and he's now holed up in the System Volume directory still trying to wreak havoc. His days are numbered though.