Customer Service Is Dead

Yeah, I know, it died awhile back. I just wasn't ready for the flaming reminder when I called to book a hotel reservation this morning. Sure, I'm as Gen-X as the next gal but the slacker on the other end of the line just put my laid-back attitude to shame. The guy was CHEWING GUM when he picked up my call. (Anyone else flashing back to Letterman's Joaquin Phoenix interview?) This is pretty much how the call went down:

Hi. I'd like to speak with a reservations agent, please.

Yeah, I can talk to you.

Great. Well, I'd like to book a reservation at your hotel for next week - arriving March 2, departing March 6.

(in between chews) Yeah, hang on.

You with a local company? (more chewing)

Yes, I usually book reservations at the Company X corporate rate.

'K. Smoking or non?

Non smoking please.

Arriving when?

March 2nd

Leaving when?

March 6th

Name?

Beau Flamingo

Honors number?

Excuse me?

You a Hilton Honors Member?

Oh. Yes.

Leaving when?

March 6th

Here's your confirmation number

(silence while I wait for it, pen in hand thinking we've missed a step...)

I need your credit card number (That's the step. I recite my card number and exp. date)

Here's your confirmation number

(Silence interspersed with chewing while I imagine he is staring at a frozen computer screen. Aaaaand we wait. Paper crinkling. Another packet of Big League Chew is opened.)

Is your computer giving you a hard time? It must know it's Friday... haha.

Nope. Number's 12333764

Great, thanks for your

(CLICK. silence. I stare at the phone, awestruck. Oh no he DIDN'T. )